Nothing like starting the day off with some darn Wii scary game... "Cursed Mountain" is a good game.. if you have hand and eye coordination.. and that I am not good at! *Well I can't be good at everything* I like the investigational part of the game.. but as for fighting ghouls.. *Gets my heart racing and I can think of better ways to do that!*
Best played in the dark.. *No not me.. well actually that isn't a bad idea...* but the game silly! And once you get past the tuition bit.. it moves on and you have to learn more and more moves... and that is what confuses me.. keep it simple is what I like...
*No this isn't a self portrait or my MIL tut*
Anyway.. today is antoher cool day, but the pollen count must be high as eyes are itching and seem to be sneezing a darn lot today.
Keep thinking about that job I applied for.... the pay isn't much.. and goes by how much you hand in.. but.. well.. it would be nice to get it.. but heyho!
Not much further forward with the MIL *Mother in law of course* plans... but it is still early days. Had suggestions that just have a massive party.. surpise one.. but she will know something is going on as she has to come from Wales to Bristol so sort of gives that away doesn't it.
I wouldn't mind her and I doing something for a day.. or morning.. you know one of those make your own purfume days... but not sure she would be into that as she has dodgy skin.. as in senstive.... well you never know.. I might do it with Daughter or a friend..
Christmas is coming isn't it... must check again at bottom of page how many days.. it says
102 days 9 hours 58 mins and 45 seconds... *whhhooooooohhhhooo, I do like Christmas.. it isn't about the gifts... it is spending time with the ones you love and making memories*
Did I mention Daughter has now been offered a permenant position with RAC.. she is taking it with a good pay rise... so really proud of her there! But then she said she had a boyfriend... *Mmmm why does something good always come with something you worry about?* Well he is the 21, with a child of 2, daughter, and works at the same place she does. I do hope he is nice.. I have been told that I am not allowed to threaten to break his legs or pour burning candle wax in his eyes.. so I suggested concrete boots if he is horrid to her, but she didn't want to go for that either! *She is such a party pooper at times!* I really do hope he treats her well.. as I don't like to think that my 20 year old baby will get hurt.
Ooo the sun is coming out...
Didn't sleep well last night.. in fact the night before either I didn't. I asked GOS if he prodded me in the side at around 2. 30 am ish.. and he said he didn't.. this is a story I will continue on with later... as going to make a Christmas card....
Yikes we are in September already.. and today it is like a cool winter's day..*Not that I mind as I do prefer cooler weathers to the heat.. *
I haven't written for ages as I still seem to be battling with this darn eating thing... die if I don't and can die if I do.. *Over eating that is.. as in too much* Wonder how much you have to eat before your stomach bursts? Anyone know.. might have to look that up!
Well my friend is back from her hols with her bloke... Mmmm no comment on him.. but I think she is wonderful so we can over look some things can't we!
I have been sort of good the last few days..been on the Wii Active.. did 1 hour and 15 mins yesterday and the day before half hour.. and we are going to have a Wii night tonight.. ... *Yes just GOS and me... Mmm will see how that goes... maybe even a drink...* I wonder should I do it in my sexy black nighty... *Nah want to keep everything in its place.. nothing worse that it flopping around your knees lol.. no they don't! Get that out of your head to start with tut!*
I am going to try and organise a bash for the mother in law for her 70th Birthday.. I sent out an email to all her children and their children and think we are going to get the mother in law to come to us.. in the uk that is... as there are far more people to travel to her than take us to her! Will keep you posted on that... the D day for this is 19th December.. which also happens to be my sister's birthday too...
Well can't stop thinking of food... maybe I need to turn my thoughts to something else... Mmm now what is there... food... sex.. food... sex... *OMG I think I am turning into a man.. ahh no missed out .. scratch balls... fart.. drink .. rummage in front of trousers and leave hand there... WHY DO THEY DO THIS? so luckily I have a very long way to go before I turn into one...*
Going to read my book I think..
Oh applied for an online job.. would be nice to get it .. as only part time and doing something I love.. but will have to wait and see.... keep you posted on that too...
Oooooo hope you are all ok out there...
BBL.....
Well I heard back from the job.. they sent more information... so I replied.. of course! Then got another email from them with a sample. So I completed that.. and sent that off and now sat here waiting to hear from them? Never know.. fingers crossed *But hard to type*...
Not sure what to have for dinner so will do something boring as GOS is having corned beef hash *Yuk*
Waiting for GOS to say when we can start our Wii night....
I am not in pain anymore and I have just thrown myself on the scales and lept off in such dissapointment!!
00.3lb.2oz... that means I have had a gain from 00.11 lb . 8 oz!!! Let us say about 5 lb in two weeks... *S**t C***p B******s*
Well now I am feeling better after 12 painkillers a day and 2 anti biotics and 1 stomach tablets... so are they fattening?
I know I wasn't left with a lot that I could eat as I couldn't open my mouth! But for goodness sake ..... well not going to moan.. I did have some birthday cake that I made for my Daughter... who has gone home now :(
Just going to have to get back on the wagon and lose those pounds now along with the extra stones I want to shed!!]
The weekend with my family went farrrrr to quickly... but it did seem that all I was doing was cooking and cleaning! ... Didn't spend half as much time as I wanted to with Daughter, we didn't even get in the pool at the same time. Also never got any photos.. but I will look at the camera as I am sure Daughter took some!
My lovey niece is with us for two weeks now so we are going to be doing different things every day now...
I thought we could kick start today off with doing the March DVD and then a dip in the pool... maybe a walk later... will have to see!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
20.50 pm
We did the March Dvd.. LM (Niece) was being lazy and not doing all of it.. but we did have a laugh... then we went swimming for about an hour or so....
Got out to make some lunch.. was really nice...
The day has gone really quickly.. and I am still in shock that I have put on so much weight in such a short time!! *Gutted really...*
LM is allowed on the pc to play Sims 3 *think she is addicted to it already!!* then it is off to bed...
We are reading a goosebumps book... The Egg Monster. She is doing really well... we take it in turns to read a page each. I love reading time with her... we snuggle up and really get into the story. I love to do all the sound effects and make her jump.. she then giggles... *She is so much like my lovely departed sister*
Think I will be in bed early tonight myself! Feel worn out.. think all the lack of sleep while in pain with the face/tooth is starting to catch up with me.
Just heard the news.. what is Alan Sugar doing in the houses of parliament!! *Oh maybe we can all get in!* Well maybe this one won't need to steal from the government for his personal use...
Reading time.. may be back later.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
22.51 pm
Just remembered I haven't put down what I have eaten today... and I do have to start to be strict with myself again don't I!! Tut.. thought you were keeping me on track!!
B: Pineapple, nectarine banana and yogurt
L: Bean and potato soup *Homemade of course!* and ice cream
D: Spag bol... Pork .. HB
Syns..Parm cheese.. 1.5 syns.
HA = HB = Pork
Workout... Half hour march and swimming!
Total Synergies... 1.5 out of 105
So not bad today eh!! Think I might have some more ice cream as I can dig away at that and it is free!
GOS has taken control of the telly since dinner time and tonight it has been all space things.. over and over again... *Yawn*
Gee I am tired. Then again it is nearly 11.15 pm here!
Oh never told you... my father and GOS looked at the Dishwasher.. and he had not got the right part... so back to washing up in the sink... god help that machine when I do get the right part,.. it is in for a beasting!!
So back tomorrow all... *Must think thin.. think thin woman thin thin thin!*
Pain woke me up.. *there is a surprise!* After the pain came the thought of my beautiful Daughter. Today is her 20th Birthday!! Leaving me with the thought of where have the years gone!
Didn't seem 5 minutes ago that I was holding her in my arms.. looking into her eyes and feeling the proudest mum in the world. Well I still am proud.. but hard to cradle a 20 year old now isn't it!
She has grown so much and she is my greatest achievement in life! Now a woman in her own right.. with her own thoughts and feelings, but still a person who I adore and will always want to protect with my life.
Odd really to watch your child grow.. leave home and turn into an adult. You then feel surplus to requirements. After all the years of worry *No that doesn't stop!* but being needed and then one day poof.. it stops! This is when you have to start to discover who YOU are! or rediscover you... what you want from life.. try to remember your original dreams before childbirth! Not sure I can remember that far back.
What did I dream of being when I was a child?... I wanted to be a teacher.. as helping others was and still is something I love to do... *Did that aspiration* I don't know.. the world is my oyster as some would say... but there is no more important role than being a Mother.
Not having a good mother myself.. this spurred me on to be a good.. no great one.. and hopefully I achieved this in my Daughter's eyes. Oddly enough there are times that I could flip back to certain ages of her life and expect her to be there.. at that age! *I am sure there is someone out there saying there is an illness called that* My only real illness is loving my Daughter with all my being.
Anyway... she has her first driving lesson today.. a double one at that... Many have said she is like Alice from Vicar of Dibley.... as in humour wise...so I am hoping all will go well.... Now I have painted a wrong picture of her.. she is stunning... beautiful, caring, loving, kind, generous, sensitive, well balanced with her mother's humour! Sometimes we just know what we are both laughing at without having to say anything!
*Oh my... my head is really hurting!* I have so much to do today... before they arrive and I am shattered.
Had to go in the pool last night at 1.00 am in the morning. GOS on his heater check on the pool had noticed that we had a leak on one of the main outlets of the pool.. so I had to go in.... *I tell you I was brave... stood there took my trousers off..jumper and bra... Noooooooooooooo still had a little vest top on and french style undies...and in I went!* Luckily for the villagers... it was dark.. not even a moo from the cow... but wouldn't be suprised if I don't find my butt on a picture in the local rag!! *Amazing how we think we all look good in the dark!*
Anyway.. hopefully it is now fixed... I haven't been outside to check it.. but I did put my washing out at that time in the morning... *Why do us women do odd things like that!* Only to find that it has rained during the night so have to wash it all over again! *More work*
Oooo.. my father has just popped up on MSN.. he can't sleep... *Wonder if it is excitement like me* Bless he will be tired later so think he is going to try and get some sleep!
Not sure if I should try or just crack on with some housework that I want to get done?
*Bangs head against desk..this pain...then looks at desk and thinks this needs an arm sweep into a black bin bag*
The birds are a tweeting well this morning!
*Wonders if I am a size 10 yet?* Is that my aim.. nah don't be silly... I will never get to that.. I mean it has taken me months to lose half a stone... *Darn body*.. all this dieting being careful and it not wanting to shift...*Might be the greek in me.. not letting anything go for nothing!*
Ok.. think I am going to try to get some sleep... pks taken at 5.30 am so anti tabs at 10.00...sure this isn't going to do my tum much good... oh gee have to take tum tablet.. crap forgot better take it now or I will suffer later and can't take anti tabs with tum tabs...bah! It is remembering which you have to eat with .. ones you don't .. one to not eat for 2 hours..
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz all ...........
*Wishes she could teleport up to bed*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10.25 pm
Just a quick one... *Ahh not while the face hurts please!!* Finally dozed off and GOS got up and got the petrol chainsaw thingy out to do the hedges! *Sounds like some boy racers revving up his 50 cc bike, but continuously!*
Well wide awake again and time for more darn tablets .. but not going to stop the as really want this all to stop...
Time for cleaning too....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3.35 pm
Soooooooooo much to do.. *Still in pain*.... not got a lot done yet..
Cake is baked though.. doing her a lemon drizzle cake... Lemon ice cream is done.. and our dinner.
We have been asked to go out for a drink in the village at 7 and to be honest that doesn't leave me much time to get things sorted.
Also had to go in the pool again *Just now.. hair looks like scarecrow hair.. just shocking I tell you!* Hopefully this little leak has been fixed now.... would be the day Daughter is going to arrive... mind you the water was lovely and warm...
We are due for a thunder storm this evening! Not going to moan as the grass really needs it.. looking like straw at the moment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chores done and going out for a drink!
Then wait for them to get here....... *Yay.. face still hurting grrrr*
Yes thought I would title it with a song theme today... *Seems like I have been up for hours.. so maybe I am feeling tired!*
Resisting the urge to get on the scales as not got that feeling I am losing anything this week. *Hangs head down low*
I dont' think I am eating enough and I think I am eating too much fruit! No.. really.. I eat a lot of fruit... and after all it does contain natural sugars and calories. *Wonder if that is what is upsetting my tummy too.. kept waking me again in the night* My goodness.. with my stomach.. night sweats and everything else.. no wonder I am a wreck at the moment!
I was thinking of ways to inspire weight loss... and then came across this... this will make you think!! *It did me!*
BODY FAT
Yes rather nasty isn't it...
Having looked around .. they say that you have to eat less approx 3500 calories a week to lose 1lb of body fat... but this also depends on lean muscle loss as you can also lose that.. which we think is fat loss... but because we are all different.. it doesn't mean that if you cut back 3500 calories you will lose that weight.!! Gets complicated doesn't it.. *So see where I am coming from with this fruit thing.. so much for the government to say.. 5 a day!*
Thought that this was rather a nasty image too.. if you can visualise fat every time you eat.. it might make us eat a little less! *What do you think?*
So I feel I need to revise my eating plan... *Again.. but this is life isn't it* Thing is.. if you look at my eating... there doesn't contain a lot of fat in it.. so if I were to cut out even more fat from that.. what would be left...*So must be the fruit*
But for now.. I have my list of things that I need to crack on with.....
Must finish wall.. so off I go.. *When I have finished my coffee that is!.. stop being so pushy*
But this did make me chuckle...
Ok enough for now.. this isn't get the wall done it is?
BBL...........................
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12.43pm
Painting...first coat on.... waiting for that to dry.. then on goes the next... *Getting hot painting with all these coats on!* Have another wall to paint but that is a deep red.. so waiting till I have done one to do the other.. but just washed part of it down... *Fingers crossed I have enough red paint left*
GOS got up... got his coffee.. took the paint upstairs from the cellar for me and I have not seen him since... in the mean time.. I have painted the wall...done all the washing up.. cleaned the kitchen and now having a cuppa before I get on with the wall again.. then there is a pile of cleaning to do .. not to mention the ironing... *Am I doing something wrong here?*
To top it all off... I have a wisdom tooth half through on the left side lower *Opens mouth wide to show you.. aaarrrrrrhhhhh* and it is getting painful... *Wants to go back to bed!*
Don't have much time to sit and goss... some of us have things to do!!
*Sneeze... sneeze.. darn hayfever.. or is it dust!*
Ooooooooo comments.... I love comments... thank you ANON!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.20 pm
Thought I would take a look at my HORRORSCOPE!
July 10, 2009 It's hard to control your dreams, for they seem to overflow right into your waking life, making things even more confusing than they already are. But don't try to justify yourself to anyone today. If you aren't sure how to handle a situation, pull back a bit until you know what to do. Temporarily retreating is wiser now than pretending that you can tell where your fantasies end and reality begins.
Opps... maybe I need to shut up today!! *Drat..drat and double drat* Maybe tomorrow will be better let's see....
July 11, 2009 The Moon's return to your sign can brighten the colors of your dreams and soften the edges of reality. You are lured into believing things that hug dangerously close to the edge of irrationality -- that dividing line between fiction and fact. Some of your beliefs will flip-flop back and forth, so don't put your final answer into writing until you wait and see what happens over the next couple of days.
*Oh no.... does that mean I have to be quiet for a couple of days*
Nah... how can you shut me up!! *No I don't want answers.. like hey there fattie!*
Got toothache... *Sobs.. then looks up to see if you really care*
Going back to my Shirely Valentine wall... bbl....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3.46 pm
Darn tooth is hurting.. well gum is!! Now also the side of my tongue... I keep washing my mouth with antiseptic mouth wash... *Screams why meeeeee!*
GOS is in a bad mood... I rang him to say come look at the wall.. *Only downstairs in his music room* as was pleased with it besides the staining coming through again.. must be something in the brick? *Which is annoying and has stumped me so far!* But thought we could discuss it...*As in .. maybe I could reseal the wall again* .... well boy was I wrong! I promptly got told that all I do is complain, would have been easier if he had done it.. and to leave it and he will do it! *Wanders off feeling really unloved :((*
Just cooked his food.. now going to finish my cleaning.. as I had the music on the sky and GOS turned it over to watch his racing.. and now has gone back down below... Maybe he will come up again when he wants feeding.
Now you know why I ramble so much!! I don't just have a wall I have a house to do my Shirley Valentine on!
Going to do some more cleaning... Such joy!
BBL.............
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nearly 7 pm
Fed up.. *Don't want to talk about it...:((*
This is one person who really does some blogging... crafty stuff and something about Candy... *Me thinking it was chocolate* But I believe it is crafting candy... looks good though...
Well must be time to do the dinner... I have done most of the painting.. but of course another coat is needed... *Will find it really hard to move if I have to wear anymore*
Dining room area is all clean... Lounge area is all clean.. done the hallways... and kitchen floor.. tomorrow I want to do the kitchen cupboards.. and utility room... hoping I will still find time to do the washing .. ironing.. mow the lawn and weed the flower beds... *Superwoman.. yeah I wish*
Might just do myself chop and wedges... GOS... well. not sure really what to cook without the thought of getting my head bitten off... *Wonder how much I would lose weight wise then... my brains must way loads!*
BBL...
If you could be anyone in the world.. who would it be and why?
I think I would like to be GOS.. cause he has someone that loves him no matter how much he shouts... and well can do what he likes and get dinner cooked etc... Not bad!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nearly 8.00 pm
I am showered again.. so gone is Yeti 3!... Tooth/gum still hurting.. can't stop sneezing and have a headache and starting to ache all over..... yep the day is just getting better and better. *Oh is it Swine Flu ! ..Nah will be negative energy that is floating around the house*
Dinner is on... so that is one thing.. just not sure how I am going to eat mine... *One way to lose weight I guess... *
So hungry now... *Now I have got over my anger*
Daughter might have someone to swap her shift at work... *Whhoooo hoooo* It does mean that she will have to work 10 straight days..but she is young.. she can take it! *So is there a god.. oh no... now I have said that.. something else will happen!*
Had email from the said Father's Lady Friend. I sent her one.. did I say.. just to clarify things... and she sent me a nice email back... Think she might be a little worried.. but then again I would!!
Going to watch the box.. see what is on... Maybe Come Dine With Me... I like that... *Yes it is official I am a bore!*
*Runs to kitchen to make ice-cream... yes the SW Free one.. will help to numb the gum... hopefully*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11.10 pm
Gave in and took a couple of tablets for my mouth... starting to feel a bit better.. still got headache.. so hoping it will kick in for that too soon!
Still got the dishes to do.. *Bah* Thought GOS might suggest he do them after being mean.. *Silly me*
Total Synstodate... 44 out of 105
B: Rice, yogurt, nutmeg
L: Apple pear
D: Pork Chop.. roasted veg jacket spud and LCL Cheese
AT:3 nectarines.. banana
HA: 1 x Milk LCLCheese HB:Pork Chop...2 slices of ham
Not sure where the weeks are going.. but as long as I am still losing weight.. I guess I shouldn't care... *But then whats the point of being a slim old age pensioner when you can't wear the trendy stuff*
*Mmm... maybe not!!*
Have been messing around with some widgets today.. and have been looking to see if there is a way to set up a recipe section... *Still working on it .. but it won't beat me!
I was saying to myself today.. NOPE.. don't get on the scales.. but I did.. and it read...00.11lb 6 oz... *Up down up down.*
Still no news on change of day off for Daughter... *Starting to stress me out now*
Had a total binge out last night..*Don't know what happened*
Total Syns todate... 20.5 out of 105 and we are only on Wednesday!
Might just have some fruit for breakfast.....*Really missed not having any in.. why is healthy food cost so much*
List of things I have to try and get through this week..
Weed some of the garden
Mow lawn
Clean boys out
Change spare beds
Hoover top lounge
Re-skim lounge wall and paint
Make cards for 18th birthday
*That will do for now*
But feeling so tired.. these darn hot flushes are starting to drive me mad and have noticed in the evening my darn bones ache... *I don't want to get old*
Must pull myself together!
BBL............................
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OMG!!! 4.35pm
Where has the time gone!!...
Nothing prepared for dinner either... no idea what I want.. might do spag bol that is quick and easy.
When we went out yesterday GOS and I got this bag of plaster... well I kid you not.. by the time I mixed it put it on my hawk.. got up the ladder and put it on my trowel to put on the wall it was nearly set.. I got one sweep across the wall and that was it... not like UK plaster where you can wet it and smooth it over either... *Total disaster... just hoping I can sand it down...more dust!! Oh and I will look like a Yeti.. hate being covered in dust!*
I can't believe it... so gutted.. wanted that all sanded down today so I can get on with painting it in the morning and then getting my house back in order..*Bah*
Food front isn't going well today... just had an apple... I need to drink more.. *Wine would be good and into a real drunken stupor at the moment the way that wall has made me feel...I tell you Shirley Valentines wall wouldn't have done that to her!!*
My hair feels like straw...today isn't turning out as planned. *But still must think thin*
Was wondering today.. do people think my rambling are bizzare.. cause really they might be normal.. I mean we all have odd thoughts and what is an odd thought anyway... I mean ... if I had told you 100 years ago *Not that you were around then or I for that fact* that you would be sat with a keyboard and screen and typing to people all over the world... that is bizzare!
I have just been informed that my father's lady friend is coming to visit... Mmm now where do I put her... Do I allow her to stay in my father's room? What if she doesn't want to? Well I will just make beds and hope for the best. Might tell him I have put light senor alarms round the house.. so not to wonder around ...*Hehehe.. oh is that mean?*
Nice to notice that I have had the odd message left on the side panel... doesn't make me feel so alone... *Puts hand to brow and lifts head looking all lost*
I knew I should have been in television...Drama Queen no doubt GOS would say!
Well sitting here on my butt isn't going to get that wall done now is it... So glad really you can't see me... here I am .. white dusty hair... white vest top and red cut off trousers that are too big and red crocs!! *Not attractive I tell you* Oh and this darn plaster stuff down my chest and a dusty hand print on my butt..
*Sneeze.. sneeze..* Time to clean up...
BBL..................
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5.10 pm
Just had a thought... Are bat wing tops back in fashion? *As was thinking about dinner ladies arms and what best way to hide them than in a batwing top!* Ahh I remember those days... even remember rara skirts... not that I ever had the legs to wear them.... Some of my school friends did... *Hate them all .. hate them do you hear me hate hate hate.... Oooo wonder if most of them still look good...?*
I did remember a few years ago seeing one girl from school... in fact was hard to recongise her... she was walking along the sea front with a push chair and another child holding on.. she looked shattered.. worn and well dragged through a hedge backwards... *Was mean of me to revel in that moment.. but I AM human.. well mostly* She had dark rings round her eyes.. crows feet wrinkles...she looked a wreck... and I thought back to how she was before .. at school.. the pretty girl.. everyone wanted to look like... slim.. lovely hair.. sparkling eyes.. lovely smile.. attracted people.. *Like flies to s**t.. opps sorry!* And now there she was... worn out.. then I thought.. I wonder what life had thrown at her... my feeling of self pride for not looking like that soon passed and turned to pity as such. She could have had a terrible few years and that made me feel rather sad... *But it didn't last and I went off feeling better about myself!*
I guess what I am saying is... make the most of what you have as you never know when it will be gone!... I am sure we have all had better times.. but then doens't mean we are not again... so keep smiling...
*Oh all that thinking has made me hungry.. *
Still not done my dance for GOS.. you know the sexy one I was on about.. .. *was thinking of Pole Dancing again... but not sure my wrists could cope with it.. let alone the pole...might have to give it more thought*
BBL..............
I have to make GOS ice cream today.. *Sulks*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7.30 ish pm
Well all showered .. spag bol is on.. thin pasta is on.. and I thought I would nip here.. just while it is cooking...
Ouch... I sneezed earlier and pulled a muscle in my back.. *Now that is a sign of old age*
Oh brother on phone!
BBL...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2.57 am
I know... what am I still doing up! Was watching the box and it got me thinking.. *Dangerous I know!*... but was thinking to why we allow ourselves to get overweight.. insecurity..something to hide behind.. lack of confidence.. being told that your not good enough... there are so many reasons...
Having been sent a photo of myself prior to my 4 stone weight loss.. it does really upset me. How could I have allowed myself to get like that? Why allow myself to get like that even! I am not going to come up with excuses.. which I know I have... but have now realised it is all down to self worth.
No one has a right to make us feel that we have no right to be who we are.. or feel how we do... but some still have powers above that manage to drag you down. Myself.. sadly never having a good relationship with my biological mother and throughout the years.. it has affected me deeply and still does. It wasn't till I was talking to a good friend that it really made me think.... I have spent my whole life worry about what others think of me... I had always been told that what ever I did or do was never good enough... always trying to please... so no wonder I never have had a good opinion of myself.
My whole life.... and what a waste that is... I know our past is what makes us who we are today... but those are years... many years that I will never get back.... My friend is very confident.. and I have to say... she is wonderful... she has spoken to me on my good days and bad days... and she never lies to me...and I have the utmost respect for her. It was talking to her...that makes me think... or should I say think more.
One day I have to cut these painful ties from my past to move forward...and I feel this is one of the reasons I have for many years tried to hide behind... but I am going to try to stop hiding... and learn to be and love me! *Not going to be easy.. but I will try most things once...*
I am glad that I have taken the step to change my life... and often when people take step forward ... they do a lot of self discovery... also sometimes partners don't like seeing change... they react not always in a good way to start with. But I think we have to remember why we are wanting to change our lives... and who we are doing it for... Me it is for me... just for me.
Ahh well.. enough serious rambling...*Going to practice some sexy moves before I perform for GOS*
Again woken by my tummy... seems that every few months it has a flare up and takes a few weeks to settle down...
Trying to be good and not place myself on the scales lol... not sure how long that is going to last though! The lovely birds are still twittering away.. I am sure they have also camped outside our bedroom window and sing their loudest just to annoy me in the morning.
Pleased to see that it has been raining during the night...hopefully may save some of the grass that is playing dead in the garden! I am not sure if today it will rain again as one moment the sun is poking it's head out and then the dark clouds appear. To be honest would be nice to have a day of chilly weather. *Might help with the hot flushes!!*
Hopefully going out today to get some food shopping done.. *No, of course I don't enjoy it... oddly enough why is it men think women love food shopping?* but it is great to have fruit in to eat and not have to struggle to think what to cook for dinner! Last night I put a chicken curry on, *It didn't suit me!* and it has been in the slow cooker all night so should be lovely and tender for later on this evening.
GOS is downloading and the net now is soooooooooooooo slow!
Brrr.. it is actually rather chilly out there! Just been to give the boys some treats.. also noticed a darn molehill!! *Please tell me it isn't staying!* Last time they trashed my lawn..
Going to try and finish the wall today... need to sand it down now and see what it looks like...and then hopefully paint it!
Serves me right doesn't it.. just got on the scales.. and it says 00.12 lb 4 oz... *Think I need to sleep more*
I need to keep tighter reign on my food diary I think....So through out the day.. I will keep one section of what I eat in bold...
B: L: D: Chicken Curry and rice followed by two tubs of home made cinnamon ice cream... *Lush!*
I think I will start a recipe section..*Gee your full of good ideas lol... now just have to figure out how to do it!
AT: 1 pear, 3 small bananas, 2 apricots, and 2 nectarines!
HA: 1 x Milk
HB: Chicken
SYNS (1.5) = 40gm plain crisps 8 syns = 9.5
Brackets are from the previous day(s) so I have a running total.. there that should keep me on track!
Oh.. what to do.. go for a nap or sand the wall down... Mmmm *wavers hands in the air* will drink my coffee first and then decide.
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one."
How we should all think before we speak.. of course me being me.. I always do! *Yes because I am perfect.. Mmmm*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.35 pm
Going to be going out soon.. thought I would look at tomorrows HORRORSCOPE.. see what it has in store for me...
July 08, 2009
You may be weary of sharing so much emotional intensity. Or, perhaps, you just long for a vacation from your own romantic attachments. Either way, the Moon's entry into your private 12th House today amplifies your need to be alone or to keep your feelings to yourself. Don't worry about how others might respond to your desire for solitude. They will be happier once you return from your little retreat more relaxed and refreshed.
Oh.. is that good or not.. I will decide tomorrow.
*Told you sleeping was good for me!!* I got up and re weighed myself and hey presto 00.10 lb 8 oz!!!!! I know it won't last as I have to eat today.. but waiting till we go out and I can have some fruit.. ooo I want fruit !!
*Mmmm... I seem to have lost my colour option on this blog... what is a woman to do!!*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7.50ish pm
Nope..still no colour option *Screams loudly* Maybe it will be back tomorrow and it is just this post.
I survived the shopping trip... I need to get dishwashing liquid... yes cause the dead dishwasher is still playing dead. Mind you .. GOS still hasn't looked at it... *I do.. I look at it and swear and curse*
So hence I got back from shopping and had to unload it all... then wash up and clean my kitchen... then.. *This is while GOS is sat watching telly.. yes I know!! can you believe it!* cook him his eggs on toast!
I was at this point starving having not had anything to eat all day... *I told you that earlier are you not paying attention*
Off I went to my room with.. are you ready for this.. it is shocking!!
A pear, 3 small bananas, 2 nectarines and 2 apricots and of course my diet free caffiene free coke. *What a pig.. but I do have two meals to make up for today don't I*
Can't make my mind up if I prefer my deep thoughts to be bold or italic.. might do both... *Yes.. cause I can!*
Still no sign of daughter getting someone to do her shift at work... *I will send out thoughts that they are all really sick with the runs on their days off now if they dont' help her out*
She is so set on coming and I don't want her to lose her job over it...I am sure by law that she is entitled to holiday pay... but they will no doubt say she is.. but not unless authorised... We will see what her line manager comes up with... so all keep your fingers crossed for me!
The curry is smelling just wonderful...I can't make my mind up if I want brown rice or white with it..either or.. but brown takes longer to cook....
*Got an older.. well one I haven't been able to get into till now... shorter nighty out.. it has a short gown with it too....In a lovely cream colour with a satin pattern stitched on it... might do a dance to entice GOS later...either that or will give him a heart attack!* He will probably look at me and say... "Arent' you cold woman.. go get some clothes on"
*Slurps at diet coke* It is no good I have to go eat... I am hungry.... oh yeah.. I am going to make some ice-creammmmmm!!
BBL...
*Walks off practicing dance moves for later on...shimmy.. shimmy.. dip.. jump up..hair flick...*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11.35 pm
Just finished the washing up!! Bahh... but I did get new gloves... nice pink ones .. but they never last me long.
Dinner was wonderful.... I will write that above and even put some pictures in.. so you can drool at how nice my dinner was!!
Yay.. figured out what I had done... doh! *But not going to admit to doing anything ..as it is back again!*
Tonight.. well it is nearly over.. but thought I would just come and put those photos on...a friend of mine might be reading this from work and I know she will be drooling when she sees the ice-cream..... *Yes I did really enjoy it!*
It is a SW free ice cream but also works out syn free on Weight Watchers I am sure!
Off to watch Come Dine With Me... would love to do that I think.. but I would probably be lumbered with a load of idiots... *Well they always do one lovely person (Me) and the others are prats!!*
Well good night all... I wonder what tomorrow holds...
*Hopes she gets up out of bed an leaves the extra pounds on the sheets*
I need some time to digest it... yes of course I have weighed myself...just give me a minute...
3.1/2 lb loss... so that now takes me to 00.11 lb 8 oz... OMG that is amazing!! I am now official slimmer than I have been in about 9 years!
*Does backflips round the office, then lands in a heap in the corner after hitting the wall.. but is still laughing and full of the joys of spring!*
Could it now be after all these months of going up and down a few pound that I am on my second wind of weight loss.... do you think I can do another great jump and get down even more?
So now OWL is... *Official Weight Loss.. keep up!* = 4 stone 2 lb 8 oz
I am now going to go for my 4 1/2 stone weight loss now.. so that means 4.5 lbs to lose... so bring it on!!!!! *Oh dear.. sound like a right rough football fan.. get it together girl*
See I told you I would find something positive today to be pleased about... My goodness.. I have done it! I lost all that weigh so quickly prior to Christmas and got so close to the 4 stone.. then since then I have been going up and down with half a stone even with being so good and exercising... but surpassed that now... woooohhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
Well it also goes to show you... I didn't exercise last week... I ate carefully as I do each week... I even had chocolate.. so what is going on? We are all different.. maybe my body is now saying.. yes time to lose weight again. After all... we do have to wait for our bodies to catch up with what we want to do...just mine too nearly 7 months!!! *Keep thinking if my darn body kept up with me how much slimmer I would be now.. but not for a want of trying... told you my body was even against me*
I wonder if a positive note every day would be good... also wonder if it would inspire others to carry on...
Today's Positive Thought...Believe in yourself, as you can always do what you aim to in time!
Anyway I have to do the wall today... but I did take a anti allergy tablet yesterday and still feel like I have been drugged and want to sleep... so may go have a nap then crack on... I may even dream of being slim!
*Was thinking about where do I think this weight has come off from this week... decolletage and my upper arms...*
To be honest I don't care at the moment I am sooooooooooooooooooo pleased I have passed my 4 stone barrier....!!!
Really tired now.. off to nap... BBL
*Slides off with the biggest grin you can ever imagine*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No nap yet.. people keep talking to me on MSN... *Ahh to be popular*
Had a quick look at my HORRORSCOPE...
July 06, 2009 Combative Mars in steady Taurus crosses swords today with your two key planets, Jupiter and Neptune, increasing the chance for you to get drawn into an unnecessary argument. But instead of listening to logic, you're tempted to let your deeds speak for you as you stubbornly refuse to cooperate with others. You may believe you're making your point while others see you acting like a spoiled child. Remember, passive aggression is not as effective as honesty and direct action.
Why so glum..... going back to bed!!
Oh will have to see what tomorrow's says now.. grrr...
July 07, 2009 It might seem as if you are being coerced to set aside your personal judgment and be a follower today with the Lunar Eclipse in your 11th House of Groups. If you are part of a team at work, you may feel isolated when your plan differs from everyone else's. Follow your instincts now; it's important for you to do what feels right and not succumb to any peer pressure.
*Might not if it is someone trying to force feed me with chocolate!*
Night all.. as it is morning !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4.30 pm
I have cleared the area.. scraped the wall down.. sanded it down and just given it a light skim but we are out of product.. grrr!! So will have to wait and see what it is like then give i t alight sanding and go from there! Had to clean my tools prior to use as GOS doesn't always do them how I like them done and then they are left for months on end with crap on them!
Daughter has a job interview tomorrow... so going to keep my fingers crossed that she gets it... She already works for RAC but that is a temping job and I would so like to know that she is settled... with a continuous wage coming in. You know what theses agencies are like. It is about time the good luck started shining down on our family!
The weather is rather unpredicatable today... *Little like my mind!* one minute we have sunshine then next we have rain! Good for the garden though.
GOS still has a bad back.. but he did manage to wash a few things up for me today while I skimmed the wall. But that is the last of the washing up liquid and he didn't seem pleased that I asked to go out and get some shopping! *Sadly we do have to eat every week*
I think I might play the Sims 3 for a while.. not played that in ages.. trouble is it is sooooooooo addictive...
Managed to decide chicken for dinner.. but still not what to do with it.. May do a Rogan Josh... with some rice...
Daughter went to sainsbury's to see if they did the Weight Watchers Crystal Jellies and she said nope they don't! *Typical...*
Sim's 3 here I come.. *Wonder if it is more normal in that world than it is in mine!*
You are going to ask me arn't you?... Yes, it is weigh in day today...
The prize cow dashed down the stairs and threw off the shorts n top pjs and gracefully placed herself on the scales... I don't know why I did it like that.. maybe thought if I crept up on them ... they would be kind to me! Crap ..crap and more crap.... nope not at all! 00.1.lb 8 oz... so I lost only half a pound!
Half a pound I tell you, I want to rant and rave... but I guess you might hear this all the time! So going to think positive on this one...
0.5lb loss over 52 weeks = 26lb and so that would be just under 2 stone a year! *Runs for chair and reaches for a light flex to hang on* Doh that doesn't seem much.. but it is .. it is I tell you!
Well...I will carry on being good... and you never know if this works for the slimming side I may get some points to add to my point system with the GOS!! But I am not going to hold my breath!
Today.. the sun is out.. and I am sat here typing away... doing my twitter and replying to random people that I do know now ... but it is fun!
Filled in some posts on the slimming site.. enjoy that! Oh and I need to clean my desk! Geesh it is a mess... but still feeling so tired. In fact I need to clean my whole office.. it is a little upside down again and gets me a little aggitated!
Just had my lush breakfast... not...
Breakfast:
2 x weetabix with 0% natural yog and a pear! = 1 x HB
Not sure how the rest of the day is going to pan out.. to be honest I feel like going back to bed.. or laying in the garden, but I will fall asleep and get burnt!
Planted out some Lemon Balm that my friend from the uk brought over for me.... herb garden is really coming along... looks pretty to! GOS is working on the veg plot.... OMG we are getting old!!
*Me.. thinks if I am asleep I am still burning calories and not eating!! Now that is a plan! Night all....*
Had a little cat nap.. well us women may need it at our age... I have woken up more refreshed.. only to find that my GOS has gone out!! I have been having jovial banter with him that he is sneaking out at night to liase with another woman! Maybe she has more points that me!!
Rushed around and gathered some washing.. threw that in the laundry room, unloaded and reloaded (with dirty dishes of course) and just made myself my lunch!
"Self thought... Am I feeling slimmer yet?"
Lunch:
Chicken and mushroom pasta with garlic and corriander.. rather nice.. but tipped too much garlic in..
Had a quick twitter.. been out to feed the boys (rabbits, they are such darlings!).
Guess when I have eaten this I should go down to find GOS... I know where he will be.. fitting a cistern and sink basin for some friends of ours down the road. Will be good to watch him work... I could work up my POINTS! by passing him things or annoying him by getting the wrong things...not sure which yet.. will see when I get there!
Nipping back to twitter a bit more while digesting my lunch.. which was no synergies by the way.. wooo hooo!!!
*Wanders off thinking... "Do photographs capture the soul"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was a good girl.. I went and held some copper piping and asked if there was something I could do a few times... then came home. I did lounge around in the car for a bit while I was there... bored out of my skull... but I showed willing. So do that get me any more points? Yep! 1/2 pfft!
Washing is in..and decided I am going to have a go at making this quiche base with brown rice. Not sure what it is going to turn out like, but what have I got to lose besides lots of weight!
When I got back home I was full of lots of inspiration to get outside and do some gardening... but not so sure now.. keep having waves of tiredness come over me. No ... no I will be good.. I will go into the kitchen now and trash it and call what ever creation comes out of there dinner!
Wish me luck.. or maybe GOS as he has to eat it as well tonight lol....
BBL... "thinking is there anything good on the box tonight as might tackle the ironing before it takes over the house!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't even bother asking me if I am in a good mood... cause I am not! My dearest kitchen friend looks like he has died! How can he leave me like this.. we have been together for many years and I just don't know what I am going to do without him.
Well, I do I will have to do the darn washing up myself... either that or get GOS to do it.. nah that isn't going to work.. maybe he will take a look at it for me. But he has been a busy bee today.. GOS that is.. not the lazy dishwasher! So GOS is on the couch watching one of his discovery programmes.
My darling brother called today to moan at me.. that didn't go down well... and the least said about that the better.. so no don't mention it again ok!
Looks like the lawn needs mowing again.. sometimes I do dream of slabbing it.. but would then look like I live in a concrete jungle and do love it so when I have it done!
Dinner..
113gms Chicken cooked in foil with some lemon and garlic.. joined with some new potatoes and a green tossed salad (oo I sound posh don't I) I also made to go with it as was going to put my chicken in it but couldnt' wait... a vegetable quiche with a rice base.... but I got the first bit out and it fell apart so have left it in the oven to harden off.
Other ha = 28gms cheese
Syns so far...
Highlights chocolate 2 syns Golden bakes 5 syns
= 7 syns
GOS is on the move...
Pulled up some lettuce from the veg patch for our tossed salad... and a white radish.. but I think it was too far gone.. took a good hard yank to get it out.. don't think it wanted to be served on our plate. As it was.. it wasn't very nice so didn't 'make it that far!
Think I will go and plant some flowers.. have been waiting for GOS to help me move some compost.. but I will just put these little pinks in now... they are wilting and seems a shame not to get some flowers from them. Oh bugger it I will do it in the morning.
Going to make a card... bbl....
"Still wonder if anyone is reading this?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Think it is time for bed... was going to put on a sexy nighty and see if I could earn some points... oh that reminds me I haven't had another go at that belly dancing lark again... wore me out if honest! Have you tried it? Well it is really hard I tell you it is!!
Tomorrow I will do half hour on the cross trainer then do half hour march out video and see how well I do at that. Maybe if I think I am marching to the shop to replace the lazy flipping dishwasher I might even break out into a sprint!!
Must remind myself to plant flowers out too.
Fancy munching on something now.. ooh yes cheese.. and it yet it is late so really I should venture off to bed in some ugly pjs and lay there with no duvet on, or was that suppose to be sexy nighty.. ahh well.. forget it!
Nighty night
"Note to self: Must get sexy nighty out and dust it off!"
No ... no .. no.. still not there.. I told you the scales were against me didn't I! Weigh in like the prize cow at a stunning 00.2lb!!
You should have seen my face as I read the scales (Only my face as the rest would have scarred you for life!) Shear disappointment... I try and try... people keep saying have a binge out that will work! Mmmm had a binge out for several years and that is what got me into this in the first place..doh even I know that!!
Don't have to time to fuss over it this morning.. I can't decide.. skirt or trousers.. both black .. but which I ask you? Choices.. choices.. the black skirt waist is a little big so keeps slipping backwards.. but comfy.. and the trousers, the waist is ok but big on the hips and bum (Runs around office screaming.."Wanted to say that for ages" No not that my bum and hips are big tut we know that.. but that the trousers are!!)
It has been raining in the night but I am sure it is going to reach great heights today in temperature and me with my hot flushes will be hot... Ahh but I am hot anyway as in stuff... silly!!
Wooo... tried to work on the point system last night... Nah.. nothing..
Anyway, I can't sit here all morning I have to get organised.. so what is it going to be.. Oh and the shoes.. I have some high wedges which I love... but I once kissed the pavement when wearing them in Bexleyheath.. so they do make me nervous or my black crocs which make me feel like gran! (No, I am not one of them yet!! I am far to stunning to be a gran. I know that gravity is getting to me .. and you if you check!! pfft)
Drat see I told you I can't sit here all morning.. have a face to put on as well... Mmm shall I go show girl with glitter... mature lady with style or smouldering with smokey eyes and leave something to the imagination... ahh ok.. mature with style it is!
BBL..
*Moves away thinking darn hayfever.. how can I stay looking stunning if my nose keeps running and I am sneezing all the time!*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flipping hayfever.. these tablets make me want to sleep and I am sat here actually fighing off falling asleep!
Broconte went well.. not a millionaire yet.. but it was better than I thought it would be. Mind you I did manage to get a large wooden plant stand, which I will shabby up and put in my bedroom... some lovely garden oranments to put in my sister's memorial garden and two lovely earthen ware dishes... looking forward to putting pasta or salad in them! Oh poop have some jacket spuds in the oven and some brown rice on the stove for the quiche base tomorrow. Must go and check...BBL.
*Thinks will I make it to the kitchen before falling asleep!*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Made it to bed to have a nap and woke up coughing... then went downstairs for about half hour and then was fighting to keep my eyes open again so have toodled off to bed again! So not going to get much out of me tonight... feeling tired.
Think I might sleep thinking of Sex in the City...and how they don't have a point system...!!
*No this isn't a self portrait or my MIL tut*
