Sunday, October 18, 2009

Ahh is it Sunday again!

I have been battling with myself again... I am going into more positive thinking with my back... I have to learn not to worry what others think... and learn to let things go.  I think I am carrying all these years of stress on or in my back and that this is contributing to my back problems!

It has been nearly 2.5 weeks since I pulled a few muscles and they should be getting better.. well they are just not as quick as I would like!  *Nothing is ever as quick as I would like it it be!*

The diet.. well I am still be careful.. but saying that this morning I did have two pieces of toast with butter.. Mmmm real butter and marmite... *Marmite is the only thing there that I could eat freely ...damn!*

One day at a time eh!  Always one day at a time.

Had a big chat with GOS last night and got a lot off my chest.. or should I say back!  And I keep saying affirmations to myself...I love myself and am a good person and I will be free from pain... then I throw in that what others think doesn't matter and let go off it all.  I find if I do this with deep breathing I do relax more.

Goodness I know how to relax.... nope not with a drinkypoos or fags... as I dont' do either... Oh crap.. what a life!

But I have to set myself some goals of what I want out of my life.  and stick to them to make them work.

So here are a few...

Lose weight
Be healthy
Be happy
Not be self consious
Not to worry what others think of me
Do what I like
Express myself more verbally so not to hold on to emotions.  *Can manage this with loving things, but can't seem to tell people what I think when they hurt me*
Learn to love myself
Realise that I can not change my past.
Let go of old emotions
Dump a lot of thoughts

There that is a few to be getting on with.... I know that Rome wasn't built in a day ... so baby steps!


  1. Thanks so much for visiting me - I'm glad you liked the scary stuff. Having seen your avatar, it was a given that you'd like it all, lol

    Tomorrow, there may be a vision with ravening fangs (same source as the Snow White witch) which could be perfect for this blog, hee hee

    Have you ever read/done The Artist's Way? It might be a good way to offload and dig down, down, down.

  2. Hi, how are you doing now? My diet is completely out the window, I daren't even weigh myself. Hope all is OK.

    Mel xxx

  3. Well what can I say Mel... off the scale again.. have been suffering with my back since that darn car accident early on in the year and well this colder weather.. it has got worse!!

    Going to the uk soon.. so if I can get it all fixed then I will be straight back on it! I hope! But like you.. don't want to look at the scales... they hate me at the moment!

  4. Hi!

    Just popping by to say I hope you're OK hun.

    I managed to lose almost a stone when I was ill for like a month but unfortunately it's almost all gone back on :(

    Hope you're alright, hugs, M xxx

  5. Hey. I'm back on here now. been a hectic few months


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