Not Got That Slimmer Feeling... Whoo oo ooohhh

Yes thought I would title it with a song theme today... *Seems like I have been up for hours.. so maybe I am feeling tired!*

Resisting the urge to get on the scales as not got that feeling I am losing anything this week. *Hangs head down low*

I dont' think I am eating enough and I think I am eating too much fruit! No.. really.. I eat a lot of fruit... and after all it does contain natural sugars and calories. *Wonder if that is what is upsetting my tummy too.. kept waking me again in the night* My goodness.. with my stomach.. night sweats and everything else.. no wonder I am a wreck at the moment!

I was thinking of ways to inspire weight loss... and then came across this... this will make you think!! *It did me!*

BODY FAT

Yes rather nasty isn't it...

Having looked around .. they say that you have to eat less approx 3500 calories a week to lose 1lb of body fat... but this also depends on lean muscle loss as you can also lose that.. which we think is fat loss... but because we are all different.. it doesn't mean that if you cut back 3500 calories you will lose that weight.!! Gets complicated doesn't it.. *So see where I am coming from with this fruit thing.. so much for the government to say.. 5 a day!*

Thought that this was rather a nasty image too.. if you can visualise fat every time you eat.. it might make us eat a little less! *What do you think?*

So I feel I need to revise my eating plan... *Again.. but this is life isn't it* Thing is.. if you look at my eating... there doesn't contain a lot of fat in it.. so if I were to cut out even more fat from that.. what would be left...*So must be the fruit*

But for now.. I have my list of things that I need to crack on with.....



Must finish wall.. so off I go.. *When I have finished my coffee that is!.. stop being so pushy*


But this did make me chuckle...

Ok enough for now.. this isn't get the wall done it is?

BBL...........................

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12.43pm

Painting...first coat on.... waiting for that to dry.. then on goes the next... *Getting hot painting with all these coats on!* Have another wall to paint but that is a deep red.. so waiting till I have done one to do the other.. but just washed part of it down... *Fingers crossed I have enough red paint left*

GOS got up... got his coffee.. took the paint upstairs from the cellar for me and I have not seen him since... in the mean time.. I have painted the wall...done all the washing up.. cleaned the kitchen and now having a cuppa before I get on with the wall again.. then there is a pile of cleaning to do .. not to mention the ironing... *Am I doing something wrong here?*

To top it all off... I have a wisdom tooth half through on the left side lower *Opens mouth wide to show you.. aaarrrrrrhhhhh* and it is getting painful... *Wants to go back to bed!*

Don't have much time to sit and goss... some of us have things to do!!

*Sneeze... sneeze.. darn hayfever.. or is it dust!*

Ooooooooo comments.... I love comments... thank you ANON!

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1.20 pm

Thought I would take a look at my HORRORSCOPE!

July 10, 2009
It's hard to control your dreams, for they seem to overflow right into your waking life, making things even more confusing than they already are. But don't try to justify yourself to anyone today. If you aren't sure how to handle a situation, pull back a bit until you know what to do. Temporarily retreating is wiser now than pretending that you can tell where your fantasies end and reality begins.


Opps... maybe I need to shut up today!! *Drat..drat and double drat* Maybe tomorrow will be better let's see....

July 11, 2009
The Moon's return to your sign can brighten the colors of your dreams and soften the edges of reality. You are lured into believing things that hug dangerously close to the edge of irrationality -- that dividing line between fiction and fact. Some of your beliefs will flip-flop back and forth, so don't put your final answer into writing until you wait and see what happens over the next couple of days.


*Oh no.... does that mean I have to be quiet for a couple of days*

Nah... how can you shut me up!! *No I don't want answers.. like hey there fattie!*

Got toothache... *Sobs.. then looks up to see if you really care*

Going back to my Shirely Valentine wall... bbl....


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3.46 pm

Darn tooth is hurting.. well gum is!! Now also the side of my tongue... I keep washing my mouth with antiseptic mouth wash... *Screams why meeeeee!*

GOS is in a bad mood... I rang him to say come look at the wall.. *Only downstairs in his music room* as was pleased with it besides the staining coming through again.. must be something in the brick? *Which is annoying and has stumped me so far!* But thought we could discuss it...*As in .. maybe I could reseal the wall again* .... well boy was I wrong! I promptly got told that all I do is complain, would have been easier if he had done it.. and to leave it and he will do it! *Wanders off feeling really unloved :((*

Just cooked his food.. now going to finish my cleaning.. as I had the music on the sky and GOS turned it over to watch his racing.. and now has gone back down below... Maybe he will come up again when he wants feeding.

Now you know why I ramble so much!! I don't just have a wall I have a house to do my Shirley Valentine on!

Going to do some more cleaning... Such joy!

BBL.............

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Nearly 7 pm

Fed up.. *Don't want to talk about it...:((*

This is one person who really does some blogging... crafty stuff and something about Candy... *Me thinking it was chocolate* But I believe it is crafting candy... looks good though...

Vikki's Celebration Candy

Well must be time to do the dinner... I have done most of the painting.. but of course another coat is needed... *Will find it really hard to move if I have to wear anymore*

Dining room area is all clean... Lounge area is all clean.. done the hallways... and kitchen floor.. tomorrow I want to do the kitchen cupboards.. and utility room... hoping I will still find time to do the washing .. ironing.. mow the lawn and weed the flower beds... *Superwoman.. yeah I wish*

Might just do myself chop and wedges... GOS... well. not sure really what to cook without the thought of getting my head bitten off... *Wonder how much I would lose weight wise then... my brains must way loads!*

BBL...

If you could be anyone in the world.. who would it be and why?

I think I would like to be GOS.. cause he has someone that loves him no matter how much he shouts... and well can do what he likes and get dinner cooked etc... Not bad!


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Nearly 8.00 pm

I am showered again.. so gone is Yeti 3!... Tooth/gum still hurting.. can't stop sneezing and have a headache and starting to ache all over..... yep the day is just getting better and better. *Oh is it Swine Flu ! ..Nah will be negative energy that is floating around the house*

Dinner is on... so that is one thing.. just not sure how I am going to eat mine... *One way to lose weight I guess... *

So hungry now... *Now I have got over my anger*

Daughter might have someone to swap her shift at work... *Whhoooo hoooo* It does mean that she will have to work 10 straight days..but she is young.. she can take it! *So is there a god.. oh no... now I have said that.. something else will happen!*

Had email from the said Father's Lady Friend. I sent her one.. did I say.. just to clarify things... and she sent me a nice email back... Think she might be a little worried.. but then again I would!!

Going to watch the box.. see what is on... Maybe Come Dine With Me... I like that... *Yes it is official I am a bore!*


*Runs to kitchen to make ice-cream... yes the SW Free one.. will help to numb the gum... hopefully*

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11.10 pm

Gave in and took a couple of tablets for my mouth... starting to feel a bit better.. still got headache.. so hoping it will kick in for that too soon!

Still got the dishes to do.. *Bah* Thought GOS might suggest he do them after being mean.. *Silly me*

Total Syns todate... 44 out of 105

B: Rice, yogurt, nutmeg

L: Apple pear

D: Pork Chop.. roasted veg jacket spud and LCL Cheese



AT: 3 nectarines.. banana



HA: 1 x Milk LCLCheese
HB: Pork Chop...2 slices of ham

Syns ............. 15.5 total

Wednesday... Another one!

Not sure where the weeks are going.. but as long as I am still losing weight.. I guess I shouldn't care... *But then whats the point of being a slim old age pensioner when you can't wear the trendy stuff*

*Mmm... maybe not!!*

Have been messing around with some widgets today.. and have been looking to see if there is a way to set up a recipe section... *Still working on it .. but it won't beat me!

I was saying to myself today.. NOPE.. don't get on the scales.. but I did.. and it read...00.11lb 6 oz... *Up down up down.*

Still no news on change of day off for Daughter... *Starting to stress me out now*

Had a total binge out last night..*Don't know what happened*

Total Syns todate... 20.5 out of 105 and we are only on Wednesday!

B: 2 smal pears + 1 small banana

L: Spag bol Parm cheese 1.5

D: Spag bol Parm cheese 1.5 + SW friendly Rice Pud


AT: fruit erm.. lots...

Crisps 30gm 6

HA: 1 x Milk
HB: pork x2

Syns 29.5 total


Might just have some fruit for breakfast.....*Really missed not having any in.. why is healthy food cost so much*

List of things I have to try and get through this week..

Weed some of the garden

Mow lawn

Clean boys out

Change spare beds

Hoover top lounge

Re-skim lounge wall and paint

Make cards for 18th birthday

*That will do for now*

But feeling so tired.. these darn hot flushes are starting to drive me mad and have noticed in the evening my darn bones ache... *I don't want to get old*

Must pull myself together!

BBL............................

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OMG!!! 4.35pm

Where has the time gone!!...

Nothing prepared for dinner either... no idea what I want.. might do spag bol that is quick and easy.

When we went out yesterday GOS and I got this bag of plaster... well I kid you not.. by the time I mixed it put it on my hawk.. got up the ladder and put it on my trowel to put on the wall it was nearly set.. I got one sweep across the wall and that was it... not like UK plaster where you can wet it and smooth it over either... *Total disaster... just hoping I can sand it down...more dust!! Oh and I will look like a Yeti.. hate being covered in dust!*

I can't believe it... so gutted.. wanted that all sanded down today so I can get on with painting it in the morning and then getting my house back in order..*Bah*

Food front isn't going well today... just had an apple... I need to drink more.. *Wine would be good and into a real drunken stupor at the moment the way that wall has made me feel...I tell you Shirley Valentines wall wouldn't have done that to her!!*

My hair feels like straw...today isn't turning out as planned. *But still must think thin*

Was wondering today.. do people think my rambling are bizzare.. cause really they might be normal.. I mean we all have odd thoughts and what is an odd thought anyway... I mean ... if I had told you 100 years ago *Not that you were around then or I for that fact* that you would be sat with a keyboard and screen and typing to people all over the world... that is bizzare!

I have just been informed that my father's lady friend is coming to visit... Mmm now where do I put her... Do I allow her to stay in my father's room? What if she doesn't want to? Well I will just make beds and hope for the best. Might tell him I have put light senor alarms round the house.. so not to wonder around ...*Hehehe.. oh is that mean?*

Nice to notice that I have had the odd message left on the side panel... doesn't make me feel so alone... *Puts hand to brow and lifts head looking all lost*

I knew I should have been in television...Drama Queen no doubt GOS would say!

Well sitting here on my butt isn't going to get that wall done now is it... So glad really you can't see me... here I am .. white dusty hair... white vest top and red cut off trousers that are too big and red crocs!! *Not attractive I tell you* Oh and this darn plaster stuff down my chest and a dusty hand print on my butt..

*Sneeze.. sneeze..* Time to clean up...

BBL..................

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5.10 pm

Just had a thought... Are bat wing tops back in fashion? *As was thinking about dinner ladies arms and what best way to hide them than in a batwing top!* Ahh I remember those days... even remember rara skirts... not that I ever had the legs to wear them.... Some of my school friends did... *Hate them all .. hate them do you hear me hate hate hate.... Oooo wonder if most of them still look good...?*

I did remember a few years ago seeing one girl from school... in fact was hard to recongise her... she was walking along the sea front with a push chair and another child holding on.. she looked shattered.. worn and well dragged through a hedge backwards... *Was mean of me to revel in that moment.. but I AM human.. well mostly* She had dark rings round her eyes.. crows feet wrinkles...she looked a wreck... and I thought back to how she was before .. at school.. the pretty girl.. everyone wanted to look like... slim.. lovely hair.. sparkling eyes.. lovely smile.. attracted people.. *Like flies to s**t.. opps sorry!* And now there she was... worn out.. then I thought.. I wonder what life had thrown at her... my feeling of self pride for not looking like that soon passed and turned to pity as such. She could have had a terrible few years and that made me feel rather sad... *But it didn't last and I went off feeling better about myself!*

I guess what I am saying is... make the most of what you have as you never know when it will be gone!... I am sure we have all had better times.. but then doens't mean we are not again... so keep smiling...

*Oh all that thinking has made me hungry.. *

Still not done my dance for GOS.. you know the sexy one I was on about.. .. *was thinking of Pole Dancing again... but not sure my wrists could cope with it.. let alone the pole...might have to give it more thought*

BBL..............

I have to make GOS ice cream today.. *Sulks*

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7.30 ish pm

Well all showered .. spag bol is on.. thin pasta is on.. and I thought I would nip here.. just while it is cooking...

Ouch... I sneezed earlier and pulled a muscle in my back.. *Now that is a sign of old age*

Oh brother on phone!

BBL...

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2.57 am

I know... what am I still doing up! Was watching the box and it got me thinking.. *Dangerous I know!*... but was thinking to why we allow ourselves to get overweight.. insecurity..something to hide behind.. lack of confidence.. being told that your not good enough... there are so many reasons...


Having been sent a photo of myself prior to my 4 stone weight loss.. it does really upset me. How could I have allowed myself to get like that? Why allow myself to get like that even! I am not going to come up with excuses.. which I know I have... but have now realised it is all down to self worth.

No one has a right to make us feel that we have no right to be who we are.. or feel how we do... but some still have powers above that manage to drag you down. Myself.. sadly never having a good relationship with my biological mother and throughout the years.. it has affected me deeply and still does. It wasn't till I was talking to a good friend that it really made me think.... I have spent my whole life worry about what others think of me... I had always been told that what ever I did or do was never good enough... always trying to please... so no wonder I never have had a good opinion of myself.

My whole life.... and what a waste that is... I know our past is what makes us who we are today... but those are years... many years that I will never get back.... My friend is very confident.. and I have to say... she is wonderful... she has spoken to me on my good days and bad days... and she never lies to me...and I have the utmost respect for her. It was talking to her...that makes me think... or should I say think more.

One day I have to cut these painful ties from my past to move forward...and I feel this is one of the reasons I have for many years tried to hide behind... but I am going to try to stop hiding... and learn to be and love me! *Not going to be easy.. but I will try most things once...*

I am glad that I have taken the step to change my life... and often when people take step forward ... they do a lot of self discovery... also sometimes partners don't like seeing change... they react not always in a good way to start with. But I think we have to remember why we are wanting to change our lives... and who we are doing it for... Me it is for me... just for me.

Ahh well.. enough serious rambling...*Going to practice some sexy moves before I perform for GOS*

Night all... sleep well!