Mosquito’s

Yep you guessed it... I have been awoken with a tingling in my lip.. so toodled off to the bathroom to discover that my lower lip has been bitten!!! *I was blessed with fuller lips.. but this is ridiculous...*

After getting a wet flannel.. tried to get some sleep but the thought of getting bitten again and trying to fight with the paranioa of being bitten on the tongue or something and not being able to breath! *It can happen you know!!* I must have dozed for about half hour and got woken again with my finger throbbing... I decided to get up in the end as my left forearm was throbbing too... only got to the downstairs bathroom and looked in the mirror! Quasimodo was looking back at me *Sigh.. yes on the bridge of my nose.. my lower lip and the right side of my chin....hangs head in shame and thinks of ways to ease it*

So I set on another quest of how to ease prevent and kill mosquitos! *People would pay thousands for a lip like mine at the moment.. no puckering up.. *

First page I came across said to rub banana skin on the area... now at the time the arm was swelling and burning and stinging... so I did this.. and hey presto.. that has eased it for a while.. also on the finger... tried the lip.. but that has just annoyed it even more!

They say not to break the skin with scratching.. cut your nails

*Any slight tingle now on my body I am getting paranoid and I am now feeling very tired, but too scared to go back to bed incase I get bitten again and again and again.. I guess I could always tell people I am really a size 10 and my whole body has been bitten.. what do you think?*

Another site said to use bicarb mixed to a paste.. have used that on sunburns... but doesn't prevent does it!! But does work on sunburns .. so remember that if you are an avid sun worshiper!

Now another said to eat lots of garlic... one said to spray with lavender, lemon oil...that citronella doesn't work..

They say not to wear dark colours.. *Yeah the fat girl loves wearing bright colours to draw attention to herself.. NOT* Also make sure that you are completely covered.. *Like I would go out in a bikini anyway!* No.. no it does say.. all arms and legs covered.. put thick trousers and top on and tuck the trousers in some socks *Ahh see now that sounds really attractive doesn't it*

Believe me I have tried most things as when we lived in Germany.. I was also eaten alive there... like this.. and haven't been bitten like this here before!!

It also says that they like to bite people who are over weight... *Yeah pick on the fat people why don't they... *

GOS sometimes get bitten and there he was last night sprawled out.. really hot.. nearly naked.. but no.. they go for me!!

The sky has gone really dark outside.. I have just had to get the washing in which has had a short sharp shower on it.. *Not turning out to be my day is it* Just loaded other washing I had waiting to dry into the dryer .. so might crack on with some ironing in a while...

*Whispers.. dare not say what next.. as something else bad always happens... * No I don't always look on the dark side of things.. I do try to think of positivity.. but it seems to be one thing after another... why is that? All I want is a happy life... *Don't we all I guess*

Have been chatting away to an old friend just now on MSN.. wow some of the times and laughs we had together. Ahh those were the days... how you had no worries in the world but when was the next night out.. what to wear, who was going out etc.... The 80's music... ahh memories...

Right back to Mossy remedies.. bbl...

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Is It... Will It... Oh Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee!

Not sure and to be honest very scared to say... but is it getting better.. will it get better today... I so wish it would... not sure how much of this I can handle, or is it that I have that many drugs in my body I am not really sure!

Trying to eat breakfast...what day are we on? Wednesday isn't it?

I am starting my SW week from today so will weigh myself on Wednesdays.. had a couple of days off as have been eating things that I wouldn't normally... not really bad... but soup etc... sadly not ones I had made.. as not had the patience to make them *How do you chop food and cook with one hand to face in agony*

So next wednesday.. if I have gained from the last couple of days.. the so be it.... the pain has taken over and at the moment is winning.. but going to try today to overcome it.. *Yeah right.. break down and cry again... yep I did yesterday.. sobbed like a baby with the pain and made it worse!! So cried some more!*

Only eating now as I have to take more pks as it is killing me.......
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1.10 pm

Painkiller time again!! But I am feeling a little perkier...* is that actually a word? *

Shopping was sort of painless as in doing it.. just did the list got the stuff came home.... *And the usual.. GOS watched telly*

He is happy watching The Universe on telly... *It is always depressing... letting you know when the world will end... * But keeps him quiet.

Brother called again today.. oh didn't I say he did yesterday... bless he rang to see if I was any better... and of course friend down the road.... *Nice to know that people do care when you are feeling so low* He wants me to put some more adverts on for his properties.. so will just do that... bbiab!

Not had lunch yet.. better do that too!!

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B: 2 x weetabix... with milk... *warmed in micro to make like baby food to get in mouth and swallow!*

L: Tuna onion extra light mayo sandwich.. 2 plums and golden bakes... *taken me ages to eat that!* I know this isn't on diet.. but wanted something again soft.. and still feeling sorry for myself!

D:

AT:

HA: Milk
HB:

Syns

Have to take tabs now.. and get ready to go out food shopping... *Deep joy when in pain.. deep joy when not come to think of it!!*

BBL....................

*Trying to smile as Daughter's birthday tomorrow and she will be here all be it Friday early morning*

Going to try this tonight... Guess it is Potato and Cabbage Pie.

Serves 4 in big dish.

2lb potatoes
spring onions
cabbage half will do
Fry Light
Very low fat natural yogurt or Fromage Frais.. 0% fat of course
Mustard powder
Chopped parsley
Seasoning.


Boil peeled and diced pots until tender then drain, but do keep warm.

Slice spring onion and shred the cabbage and fry in pan with fry light. Add some water.. about 4 tbspns and cook till soft.

Add all ingredients together and mash roughly.. then stir in the other stuff.. ie mustard, yogurt seasoning and herbs.

Can serve with either meat or maybe a salad.

Will let you know what it is like... GOS of course won't have it as it is healthy!

Off to do some gardening in hope it will easy my pain or take my mind off it.

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6.10 pm

Daughter sent me this via email... some actually made me chuckle!

To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. !

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,Switch to Espresso.

6. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana'

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk! and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity


It's Called THERAPY!

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6.30pm

Darn it... *Face killing me... yeah.. heard them all.. like.. "It's killing me too!*

Not sure if to have that cabbage pie thing for dinner.. I just fancy a jacket spud and some LCLCheese.. ooh and might have beens...

Mmmm what do to GOS...... bless he has worked hard on the veg patch today.. infact the last three days... *Raises eyebrows*...

I have been tending to the whole garden and he has worked hard on the veg plot. Oh no I sit corrected he has trimmed the hedges... but what's the bet I have to mow them up tomorrow! But want to do the lawn again before Daughter gets here.

*So excited I could scream... but can't as mouth is too painful... maybe in a couple of days*

Now.. do I stay up and wait for Daughter to arrive.. at about 4 am or do I go to bed and set the alarm..... *Don't think I will be able to sleep,.... will probably be here boring you instead with my rantings*

It is lovely outside today.. the pool is getting warmer.. but GOS said I am not allowed in it till he has finished heating it.. as he has to turn the heater off.... *Would have thought he would have said yeah.. told me the heater was off and then throw something electrical in after me*

Think I will practice more belly dancing when mouth gets better... then I can slip into slinky black nighty and do a dance for GOS... *haha that even made me laugh.. poor GOS.. he has to live with me!*

Birthday cards.. yes even more birthday cards went in the postbox today..

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8.30 pm

Dinner is in the oven... All cupboards have been cleaned.. floors swept.. including dining room lounge and hall.. oh and bathroom!

Washing up done...*The evil dishwasher may get fixed when my father gets here... he is sooooooooooooo good to me :))* Also all dishes are put away!

Aww have a moth at the window.. will just go put it outside... done.. but if it had been a spider it would have felt the base of my shoe... ahh well this isnt' always true.. *Rolled up paper!!* Had a little bird come into my office yesterday.. just hopped through the door.. so I had to open the double windows to let it out.. as last year.. one hit the window so hard it died...*That upset me*

Have been watching the beautiful butterflies in my sisters memorial garden... GOS went to take a photo and most of them flew off.. yet I stand right next to them and they flutter around me.. some of them are just so stunning! Might see if I can get a photo of them tomorrow. They rest on the Budhlia bush... reminds me of being a child and at our grandmother's house... we always used to play in her garden and she had one of them.. that is why I got one for my sister's garden.

Really think these antibiotics are starting to work...I know I have just taken the stronger painkillers but the throbbing seems less.. *Yayyy.. so will be feeling better when Daughter gets here*

Anyway.. best check dinner.. you would have me sat here all night gassing and burn my dinner.. Can you imagine GOS's face if I give him burnt offerings!

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Pain Pain Go Away...

Yes..yes.. I am still in pain... feel like my ear is about to explode!! *Still sobs and wonders why oh why me*

10.40am

Just taken some paracetamol.. hoping it will ease some of the pain... *Pray for me please* Strange but if I press my ears tight when I swallow it doesn't hurt so much... but my gum does!

I just wanted to add insult to injury and got on the scales... well just goes to show doesn't it. 00.11 lb 2 oz... so I may be on to losing my usual 1/2 pound! *What happened to a massive loss of 3.5lb.. bah!*

Just realised I have another birthday card to make and better get in the post... best do that tomorrow! Don't have enough stamps.

Raining again... hoping it will stop later so I can get the lawn and weeding done...well some of it.

Think GOS is waiting for the sun to shine to dig up some pots from the veg plot.

My HORRORSCOPE *Wonder what joys there are to come*

July 12, 2009
Although the Moon's approach to shocking Uranus can seem like an alarm clock getting ready to go off, you actually feel quite comfortable in your own skin. You are more attracted to the idea of process, freeing you from having to fix everything right now. But Lover Venus adds magnetism to your personality today, allowing you to get what you want from others. Nevertheless, nothing will happen unless you take the initiative and get the ball rolling.


*Ahh right.. would be today wouldn't it.. nurse mouth ear and throat or lap dance in sexy black nighty... sorry face wins today.. in too much pain! Drat one day window too!!!*


Off to check the wall!!
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12.20 om...

Rain has stopped so might see if I canget out weeding ... but does hurt to move darn head forward!!

If you see on the sidebar... yes over there ------------>>>> I have added a recipe section... *Whoooo hoooo* It will open up the thread where the recipe is.. so you may have to scroll to down the day... but you will get a recipe... SW of course so will be tasty! I will add more as I go along...

Card done...











Thought you might like to see the view from my office window... although not a sunny day.. it is still lovely to look out there...great when you hear the rustling of the leaves on the trees and the birds tweeting...

Think food is calling.... *Wonder would it help if I stuffed my ear with cotton wool?* Stabbing pains inside ouchhhhhhh!

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Thought I would put this curry recipe on as it is really lovely..

ROGAN JOSH CURRY

Serves 2 (Loads) red day and no rice..Free.... for a green day.. use chicken or lamb as hb..so again would be Free.


500g Chicken or lamb.. diced.
1 red pepper...chopped
Tin toms
Tom puree
Large onion ...sliced
Coriander seeds
cumin
curry powder
fresh coriander if available
Lemon juice
chicken stock cube.. or vecon.. up to you.
Fry light.

Add fry light to pan.. add onions till soft.. add spice then pepper and cook for a few mins.

Add meat, brown it before adding stock.. make up stock and add (Half a pint will do) and bring to boil.

Add toms..and puree, simmer for about 20 mins or until sauce thickens and the meat is nice and tender.

I then add to slow cooker myself and have the next day.. but can be eaten when done.. add coriander leaves and squeeze of lemon juice... done!

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5.43 pm

GOS has his musical people here.... they have been here since 2.30 pm.. banging away downstairs.... *Maybe I should rephrase that!!*

I on the other hand.. well I have been doing the washing up.. cleaning the fish tank out... moving things around in the kitchen and have of course the rest of the ironing to do.

Was going to mow the lawn as it is dry but darn face is hurting too much...A friend suggested I go to the drs... but there is a holiday on Tuesday so doubt I will get in now... *Might have to take up drinking again..medicinal of course silly*

Not keen on Sundays... always make me feel melancholy..

Just been down to take them some drinks... *Can't have dead bodies in my cellar now can I*

Yes.. think I will go and clean the brass pans...*Such an exciting life... I have said about three full sentences today.. to humans that is... I can ramble on here for hours.. why do you think I bore you so much!*

Not sure what to have for dinner as hard to open mouth.. *MMmmmm soup or liquidise roast dinner*

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6.51 pm

Well.. blow me!! GOS has finally sussed something is wrong with me... only as I am finding it hard to talk and he said... "What's the matter with your mouth?" I looked up to say and he just turned away and carried on watching the racing *Yes recorded...sigh*
I asked him if he wanted a coffee.. which of course he said "Yes".. he actually came to the kitchen and said "Ahh jelly later" and I started talking to him, while making his coffee.. only to turn round an realised I had been talking to myself... *I feel sooooooo loved!!*

You know if this wasn't actually my life.. I could find this rather funny... Sad woman.. types all day on computer for company.. ignored by husband who she loves and gets shouted at.. often!..misses her daughter and lives in a tiny hamlet with no one to talk to!!

Wow.. that is my life! Hard to think I was a busy bee before moving here.. teaching..writing beauty course, beauty/holistic therapist, nail technician, masseuse, NVQ assessor..treating clients all day... and now... a blog! *My goodness my life has been reduced to a blog!*

The mad overweight blog woman! Well I have my health... *Mmm well not at the moment with my head hurting as it does...stop laughing!*

Still can't decide what to have for dinner....

Noticed that Alan Carr Chatty Man is now following my twitter.. *He must have hit the button by mistake!*

Alan Carr Chatty Man....click on his name for the details of his show... worth watching! He made me laugh... even though I was feeling crap and in pain.. so hats off to him!.... I just loved his interview with Dawn French... she is amazing.

So if you miss that.. here is the next time it is on...

Date	Time	Channel
Sunday 12 July	10PM	Channel 4
Tuesday 14 July	11PM	E4
Saturday 18 July	11.05PM	Channel 4

Think I need to find something funny... ahh this always makes me laugh...

Thank goodness I don't have a cat.. that is all I can say... at least one cat is spared from being scarred for life!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10.46 pm

Took 2 more ibuprofen at 9.. but seems not to be kicking in.. could be that I am tired.. *just hope I will get some sleep*

OMG it is weigh in tomorrow.. OFFICIAL WEIGH IN *runs round room screaming!* I just know that I am either not going to have lost or lost very little. Was really hoping last weeks loss was the kick start to losing weight again.. you know what I mean ... on a more increased level not 1/2 pound a week... We will see!

Daughter rang earlier.. was lovely talking with her. Can't wait to see her.

GOS spoke to me.. *I know I was shocked too* but only got "A trip to the dentist is coming up then!" and then he walked away... I tried to say it was my ear and throat to but he mumbled it could be the tooth causing that and he was gone... pooof!

Have Alan Carrs Chatty Man show on record... as GOS is watching telly... he may watch it with me.. not sure...

Could do with a good laugh.. just hope it doesn't hurt my face!

BBL............

*Walks off cradling head*
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Total Syns todate... 66 out of 105

B: Pear

L: Tomato pasta thing.. Not nice.. but soft so easy to swallow..and parm cheese 3 syns Lemon Ice cream..

D: Homemade pork chili burgers and SW chips.. with apple vanilla ice cream!



AT:



HA: 1 x Milk
HB: Pork

Syns Today .............3 total

Wednesday... Another one!

Not sure where the weeks are going.. but as long as I am still losing weight.. I guess I shouldn't care... *But then whats the point of being a slim old age pensioner when you can't wear the trendy stuff*

*Mmm... maybe not!!*

Have been messing around with some widgets today.. and have been looking to see if there is a way to set up a recipe section... *Still working on it .. but it won't beat me!

I was saying to myself today.. NOPE.. don't get on the scales.. but I did.. and it read...00.11lb 6 oz... *Up down up down.*

Still no news on change of day off for Daughter... *Starting to stress me out now*

Had a total binge out last night..*Don't know what happened*

Total Syns todate... 20.5 out of 105 and we are only on Wednesday!

B: 2 smal pears + 1 small banana

L: Spag bol Parm cheese 1.5

D: Spag bol Parm cheese 1.5 + SW friendly Rice Pud


AT: fruit erm.. lots...

Crisps 30gm 6

HA: 1 x Milk
HB: pork x2

Syns 29.5 total


Might just have some fruit for breakfast.....*Really missed not having any in.. why is healthy food cost so much*

List of things I have to try and get through this week..

Weed some of the garden

Mow lawn

Clean boys out

Change spare beds

Hoover top lounge

Re-skim lounge wall and paint

Make cards for 18th birthday

*That will do for now*

But feeling so tired.. these darn hot flushes are starting to drive me mad and have noticed in the evening my darn bones ache... *I don't want to get old*

Must pull myself together!

BBL............................

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OMG!!! 4.35pm

Where has the time gone!!...

Nothing prepared for dinner either... no idea what I want.. might do spag bol that is quick and easy.

When we went out yesterday GOS and I got this bag of plaster... well I kid you not.. by the time I mixed it put it on my hawk.. got up the ladder and put it on my trowel to put on the wall it was nearly set.. I got one sweep across the wall and that was it... not like UK plaster where you can wet it and smooth it over either... *Total disaster... just hoping I can sand it down...more dust!! Oh and I will look like a Yeti.. hate being covered in dust!*

I can't believe it... so gutted.. wanted that all sanded down today so I can get on with painting it in the morning and then getting my house back in order..*Bah*

Food front isn't going well today... just had an apple... I need to drink more.. *Wine would be good and into a real drunken stupor at the moment the way that wall has made me feel...I tell you Shirley Valentines wall wouldn't have done that to her!!*

My hair feels like straw...today isn't turning out as planned. *But still must think thin*

Was wondering today.. do people think my rambling are bizzare.. cause really they might be normal.. I mean we all have odd thoughts and what is an odd thought anyway... I mean ... if I had told you 100 years ago *Not that you were around then or I for that fact* that you would be sat with a keyboard and screen and typing to people all over the world... that is bizzare!

I have just been informed that my father's lady friend is coming to visit... Mmm now where do I put her... Do I allow her to stay in my father's room? What if she doesn't want to? Well I will just make beds and hope for the best. Might tell him I have put light senor alarms round the house.. so not to wonder around ...*Hehehe.. oh is that mean?*

Nice to notice that I have had the odd message left on the side panel... doesn't make me feel so alone... *Puts hand to brow and lifts head looking all lost*

I knew I should have been in television...Drama Queen no doubt GOS would say!

Well sitting here on my butt isn't going to get that wall done now is it... So glad really you can't see me... here I am .. white dusty hair... white vest top and red cut off trousers that are too big and red crocs!! *Not attractive I tell you* Oh and this darn plaster stuff down my chest and a dusty hand print on my butt..

*Sneeze.. sneeze..* Time to clean up...

BBL..................

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5.10 pm

Just had a thought... Are bat wing tops back in fashion? *As was thinking about dinner ladies arms and what best way to hide them than in a batwing top!* Ahh I remember those days... even remember rara skirts... not that I ever had the legs to wear them.... Some of my school friends did... *Hate them all .. hate them do you hear me hate hate hate.... Oooo wonder if most of them still look good...?*

I did remember a few years ago seeing one girl from school... in fact was hard to recongise her... she was walking along the sea front with a push chair and another child holding on.. she looked shattered.. worn and well dragged through a hedge backwards... *Was mean of me to revel in that moment.. but I AM human.. well mostly* She had dark rings round her eyes.. crows feet wrinkles...she looked a wreck... and I thought back to how she was before .. at school.. the pretty girl.. everyone wanted to look like... slim.. lovely hair.. sparkling eyes.. lovely smile.. attracted people.. *Like flies to s**t.. opps sorry!* And now there she was... worn out.. then I thought.. I wonder what life had thrown at her... my feeling of self pride for not looking like that soon passed and turned to pity as such. She could have had a terrible few years and that made me feel rather sad... *But it didn't last and I went off feeling better about myself!*

I guess what I am saying is... make the most of what you have as you never know when it will be gone!... I am sure we have all had better times.. but then doens't mean we are not again... so keep smiling...

*Oh all that thinking has made me hungry.. *

Still not done my dance for GOS.. you know the sexy one I was on about.. .. *was thinking of Pole Dancing again... but not sure my wrists could cope with it.. let alone the pole...might have to give it more thought*

BBL..............

I have to make GOS ice cream today.. *Sulks*

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7.30 ish pm

Well all showered .. spag bol is on.. thin pasta is on.. and I thought I would nip here.. just while it is cooking...

Ouch... I sneezed earlier and pulled a muscle in my back.. *Now that is a sign of old age*

Oh brother on phone!

BBL...

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2.57 am

I know... what am I still doing up! Was watching the box and it got me thinking.. *Dangerous I know!*... but was thinking to why we allow ourselves to get overweight.. insecurity..something to hide behind.. lack of confidence.. being told that your not good enough... there are so many reasons...


Having been sent a photo of myself prior to my 4 stone weight loss.. it does really upset me. How could I have allowed myself to get like that? Why allow myself to get like that even! I am not going to come up with excuses.. which I know I have... but have now realised it is all down to self worth.

No one has a right to make us feel that we have no right to be who we are.. or feel how we do... but some still have powers above that manage to drag you down. Myself.. sadly never having a good relationship with my biological mother and throughout the years.. it has affected me deeply and still does. It wasn't till I was talking to a good friend that it really made me think.... I have spent my whole life worry about what others think of me... I had always been told that what ever I did or do was never good enough... always trying to please... so no wonder I never have had a good opinion of myself.

My whole life.... and what a waste that is... I know our past is what makes us who we are today... but those are years... many years that I will never get back.... My friend is very confident.. and I have to say... she is wonderful... she has spoken to me on my good days and bad days... and she never lies to me...and I have the utmost respect for her. It was talking to her...that makes me think... or should I say think more.

One day I have to cut these painful ties from my past to move forward...and I feel this is one of the reasons I have for many years tried to hide behind... but I am going to try to stop hiding... and learn to be and love me! *Not going to be easy.. but I will try most things once...*

I am glad that I have taken the step to change my life... and often when people take step forward ... they do a lot of self discovery... also sometimes partners don't like seeing change... they react not always in a good way to start with. But I think we have to remember why we are wanting to change our lives... and who we are doing it for... Me it is for me... just for me.

Ahh well.. enough serious rambling...*Going to practice some sexy moves before I perform for GOS*

Night all... sleep well!